Branding 101

Growing up on a working ranch, I assumed as a child that everyone understood the cowboy life. As I have grown, I've realized that I am in the minority. We live in the West, yet very few understand or have experienced their cultural heritage. So, rather than take you all out to the ranch for a branding lesson (Dad would not be appreciative to have all the "help"), I thought I would bring branding to you!

Branding serves a very practical purpose on a ranch - it proves your livestock are yours! Back when the herds roamed on the open range, rustling (stealing) was a real and common occurrence. If a calf or cow was not branded, you could not prove it was yours. Each brand is unique, and registered to protect the ranchers. So, every spring, when the calves are big enough to handle it, we brand.

When my dad was growing up, they would find the herd and gather them together. Then, they would build a fire to get the irons hot. Now, we have a propane tank hooked to this stand. This essentially heats the irons to a point where they will burn the skin. Yes, it hurts, but the shock of it causes their endorphins to rise. They recover and are back to normal literally within minutes.

We gather all the cows and calves together in a pen, then separate the cows from the calves.

This is one of my cows, Valentina. Yes, I have named most of the cows on our ranch. I spent almost every Spring Break on my grandparents' ranch, helping during the calving season. I actually got to help birth Valentina. She got her name because she has the heart-shaped marking on her forehead.

The cows, having done this every year, know what to expect and are pretty cooperative. This leaves us with only the calves.

This is our youngest calf. She was born about 4 days before we branded.

Once the calves are separated, we run them one by one into the chute. It is my job to pick a calf, and get that calf to go down the "run" (essentially a hallway created by pieces of fencing) into the chute. I get behind them, grab their ear & tail, twist both, and shove with my hip. Most of the time the calves will go without a fight. We have had a rodeo, though, a time or two.

The chute is called a squeeze chute because it squeezes the calf in two ways. It closes together behind the neck, to keep them from getting out, and squeezes the body, to keep them from twisting. One the two parts are squeezed, the chute is rotated on its side. We use rope to tie their legs (so we don't get kicked), then get to work.

Each calf receives vaccinations, an earmark, and a brand. We have two different brands in our family. The "diamond lazy T" is for the steers.

This brand is known as a "quarter circle - lazy T - quarter circle", and is for the heifers. One of my uncles (who shall remain nameless) branded this poor heifer. Had my dad done the brand, it would have looked much better. We know Grandpa was laughing from heaven at the way some of the brands turned out that day!

If the calves are bulls, they are castrated and given penicillin to keep infection away. If they have horns starting to grow, we also remove them. Leaving the horns on can be very dangerous later in life for a cow. Injuries and infections are hard to deal with. It is much safer to remove them early. This is Valentina's steer this year. I think he is the most beautiful of all the calves, but I may be biased. He had horns we had to remove, so that is why there is black on his forehead. The black is tar that we put over the would to act as an antiseptic and covering until the wound heals.

Once we are done, the calf is released from the chute and returned to the rest of the calves. When we are finished branding all the calves, we bring the mamas back in and let them find their babies. Then, we turn all of them back out into the pasture.

*SPOILER WARNING!!! IF YOU HAVE A SQUEAMISH STOMACH, STOP READING RIGHT NOW!!! DON'T WHINE THAT I DIDN'T WARN YOU!!!

Last comes my favorite part of branding, the Rocky Mountain Oysters! I will not go into the preparation details, lest some men reading this faint. But they are so delicious, and a family treat. I remember my grandpa teaching me to love them, and now my dad is passing along the tradition to my daughters. In fact, I think Katrina ate most of them this year.

When my dad was young, they would throw them in the fire with the irons, wait until they popped (kind of like popcorn) and eat them as a snack while they continued branding. Now, we serve them battered & deep fried. Or hidden in a burger, if you're a newby. Anybody want to volunteer to help next year?