Things I've realized... St. Poopicus Returns!

Apparently, when you have a 45-minute FB conversation with the illustrious Mr. Daddy, you realize just how much time has passed since you really blogged about life.  To rectify the situation (pun intended), I've decided to grace you all with our latest poop-related adventure.  Aren't you all lucky?


Don't answer that.


I was downstairs a few weeks ago, sewing Christmas presents like a mad woman.  I had a thought that went something like this, "Self, you've haven't seen Toby cat in a few days." Toby cat is our giant, fluffy, grumpy old man cat.  He hangs out in the basement most of the time, hissing at the dog and making a pest of himself during school time.

I found Captain Grumpy Pants in his usual spot, curled up on my fabric bins in the closet.  I thought he seemed a little under the weather, so I brought some food and water from upstairs and tried to get him to eat.  That was not acceptable to Toby, so he headed back to his spot...


...dripping blood and puss from his behind the entire way.


Reason #625374882 I'm grateful for my new basement flooring.


The next 45 minutes were a blur of panicked phone calls to Super Realtor Man, my mother, and the vet.  I got all kids up from naps, dressed, out the door in under 5 minutes.  I had no idea what was going on, but I knew enough to know that BLOOD AND PUSS SHOULD NOT COME OUT OF A CAT'S RUMP!!!!!!


Did you know cats have two anal glands, one on either side of their butthole?  And that those glands are what give kitty poo its distinct smell?  And that those glands can get chunks of poo in them?  And that poo will cause said glands to get infected?  And that if the infection isn't caught right away, the glands can rupture, causing a giant mess and an even bigger infection?


Can you guess who now knows all this exciting information?


Can you guess who got to give a cat 3 different prescription medications over the course of 2 weeks?


Can you guess who got to take said cat back into the vet so his behind could get rechecked for any lingering infection?


Have you ever seen a cat's face when someone is shoving their finger up their rootie-poo?


I'll leave you with that mental image.

If You Put A Dog In A Yard...

If You Put A Dog In A Yard...

...he will want to have friends over to play.

If he wants friends over to play, 

... He will whine at the fence for them.

If he whines at the fence for them,

... He will push on the fence.

If he pushes on the fence,

... He will discover that he is big enough to push the fence over.

If he is big enough to push the fence over,

... He will escape the yard.

If he escapes the yard...

... He will find dead things on the side of the road.

If he finds dead things on the side of the road,

... He will eat them and roll in them.

If he eats and rolls in the dead things,

...He will smell like poo when your former high school vice-principal brings him back.

If he smells like poo when he's brought home, 

... NO ONE will want him in the house.

If no one wants him in the house,

... You will have to fix the fence immediately.

If you have to fix the fence right away, 

... you will realize that the weeds in front of the fence could conceal at least two of your children.

If the weeds are taller than your children,

... You will have to mow the fence line.

If you mow the fence line,

... You'll start to tackle all the other fallish outdoor chores.

If you start to tackle all the other chores, 

...you'll realize you forgot about the fence.

If you realize you forgot the fence,

... You'll hurry up and finish it.

Because NO ONE wants the nasty-smelling dog in the house!

When the youngest gets "screen time"

9

A big kid.

But not quite big enough (in your mind).

But still too big to be little.

9

Giggling with girlfriends then snuggling on my lap.

9

A God-given passion to love and teach pre-schoolers.

9

With wisdom and maturity that amazes me daily

Perseverance and courage beyond her years.

9

With the best giggle I've ever heard and a fabulous smile to boot.

You will go far, my sweet miracle girl.



Mama loves you, today and always.

Summer in a nutshell

I'm BAAAACCCCKKK!!!!!!!!!!!!

Be afraid... Be very afraid.

Here's our summer in convenient, bullet point format:

• My birthday
• My surgery
• T ball 
• Baseball 
• Katrina's baptism! Yeah God!
• Fourth of July 
• Cast off!!! Woohoo!!!
• Back in the walking boot. Boo!!!!
• Physical therapy - those people are nuts
• Trip to the big city!
• Swimming
• Bubbles. Lots of bubbles.
• Fort building
• Bike riding
• Redneck waterpark building
• More physical therapy - these people make me love my ice packs
• Parks and playdates
• County fair
• Gardening

And then there was the iPad. I am not a techie. The only reason I got the iPhone was because it was free. Screens give me hives. And then Hubby got me the iPad. And I now need a 12 step program. 

Needless to say, the children also love the iPad. And usually operate it with higher proficiency than Mom. Which explains why I find things like this:

I'm not sure if I should be proud or scared.

Smoke and Ash

I realized today that my bloggy friends across the country are having a difficult time getting news of the fires raging through our state.  I wish with all my heart that our sunsets were back to the beauty of Colorado, without the plumes.

Here is a screen shot from http://www.inciweb.org/state/6/, which keeps track of fires across the nation.  This website can give you the most up-to-date information on fire activity, evacuations, and other information.

These are the active, large fires ravaging our state right now.  But literally every day hundreds of small fires are started from lightning and quickly extinguished by our brave firemen.

Please, please, pray for our state.  Tens of thousands of people have been evacuated from their homes, possibly hundreds of homes have been lost.  Hundreds of brave firemen from across the country (including our military fire personnel) are literally standing in the gap.

Praying for Rain

Like much of the country, our community is in the grip of a terrible drought.

Currently, we have a 17,000 acre fire an hour east of us and a 300 acre fire an hour south.

And, last night, this began.

Adding insult to injury

I've pulled a muscle. In my thigh. My right thigh. The same leg that is currently covered in a cast. Yup, I'm just that good.

So, I've spent the better part of today with an ice pack on my thigh and a bag of frozen corn on my foot. As a dear friend texted me, "Of course. That means you need to stay down! God will get you down one way or another. "

You'd think my friends thought I was stubborn or something...

I've read 5 books in the past week. And downloaded another 20 or so to my kindle to read. All free, I might add. Thanks to Beth for turning me onto www.inspiredreads.com. Love getting that daily email!

Below is a pic of my incision. If you're squeamish, might I suggest the little red x in the corner. The nurse claims that, although it may look nasty now, my surgeon's incisions always heal the best. I'm just gonna have to trust her on that one...

And my cast color is....

Day 5: Back To The Grind

Well, we survived the first four days. I pretty much spent Thursday and Friday sleeping on the couch. Jerome was AMAZING and took the kids swimming, to the museum, on adventures, and generally did everything.

Saturday morning a dear friend picked me up and we went to a baby shower. When we got home, I was so light-headed and nauseous I almost collapsed. After spending the rest of the day like that, we realized the pain meds were doing more harm than good. So we ditched them.

Sunday was great, with church and fro yo mixed with naps. And no puking.

And today, it's back to the grind. We have 2 more weeks of school, so the girls are gathered around the coffee table while I'm on the couch. Jerome is is going back and forth between home and work, and the cats are pestering the dog.

In other words, life is returning to normal. Although we still aren't sure what color cast I should get tomorrow. Stay tuned for the big reveal!

My birthday present

Jerome got me cookies, a new book, and gorgeous flowers.

I got myself an ice pack and an iced coffee. Not too bad of a day.

Thank You

He fought in a war no one wanted.

He saw friend after friend die at the hands of the enemy.

He came home to a country that didn't appreciate his sacrifice.

He will live with the memories the rest of his life.

So that his granddaughters can live in a country that is free.

Thank you Dad. You are and will always be my hero.

When your crazy mother tries to take a picture in a wind storm

You may or may not get a pic that actually works.

The Trial and Tribulations of a One-Legged Scooter Driver

Jerome is in town with the boys, playing their first softball game of the year. And, because the game was at 8:25 at night, and because Nina and I must rise with the chickens tomorrow for our grand adventure (more on that in a bit), and because tiny princess Violet got shots today, and because it is all windy and such outside, we stayed home. Which allows me to take a bath in peace with a glass of wine and my phone and a book. I like late games.

My scooter, which had saved my sanity, by the way, was far too boring. So we spiced it up. I think it looks much more fabulous now.

But do you see that back tire? Well, there is a little knob on that tire. A metal knob. A metal knob that I succeed in whacking with my ankle at least once a day. Thus, the loverly photo of my sad, abused ankle.

What's tomorrow, you ask? Well, it is our grand adventure! Nina gets to visit super Dr. S at Shriner's in Salt Lake for her 6 month(ish) post-op checkup. She is doing fabulous, in my opinion, but it's nice to have medical opinions to back you up. And, because I cannot drive 7 hours with my left foot, nor can Jerome take 2 days off in the middle of the work week to take us, we get a special treat. Shriner Grandpa and Shriner Grandpa's Buddy are going to fly us to SLC in SGB's plane! We will be helping them deliver 80 disposable cameras to the patients at the hospital, and Grandpa gets to see the hospital from the grandpa perspective. After our appointment we will be flown back home the same day. Such service! I guess it pays to know people sometimes.

So now I'm going to go soak my poor feet and prepare myself to wake with the chickens.

Random updates from a random mind

In bullet style, for your convenience and my amusement. Because it is a beautiful, sunshiny day and I can't play in my backyard. *pout*

* It is extremely hard to resist the siren call of the lawnmower. I love my lawnmower in a slightly unhealthy manner. But I somehow think that grass clippings stuck to my cast might give me away to my surgeon.

* We got to spend way more time in the ER and doctor's office than I would have liked this week. Nina woke up Thursday with extreme pain in her lower right abdomen. All the ER docs were certain it was appendicitis, until it wasn't. Turns out it was a nasty stomach virus that decided to attack the cluster of lymph nodes next to her lower intestine. Needless to say, the littles are going stir crazy while big sis groans on the couch.

* We are almost done with school for the year. This first year had been challenging, but amazing. I am super excited to order next year's curriculum, but ready for a little break.

* My surgery date is May 30. Happy birthday to me - I get morphine!!! It was either that or our anniversary. I opted for my birthday and told my surgeon I would bring him cupcakes.

* I get to rock a hard cast for 6 weeks post-op. Mainly because Jerome and my surgeon agreed that, at some point, I will go stir crazy and try to put weight on my foot if he lets me be in the black boot. I hate it when I know they're right.

* The main conversation in our house right now is what color my cast should be. The consensus is pink camo. I think that works. I promise pics once I'm coherent enough to work my phone.

* Madi has had 2 tball games, and LOVES it. I can easily see her rocking the eye black and striking out the boys when she's older.

* A sweet friend from church has volunteered to clean my house once a week while I'm laid up. So humbling, and yet so awesome!!!

* We are now headed to a spaghetti dinner fundraiser for one of our favorite teenagers. Bonus - no cooking or cleaning for me!

The Mystery Poop

If you've spent any amount of time around here, you know we have poop. A lot of poop. And weird stories about poop.

Our lives have been just a bit nuts lately. I'm still rocking the sexy boot (get to see the doc tomorrow to schedule surgery), the girls are still doing school, and Jerome is really busy at work. He's also tutoring a young boy once a week, coaching Madi's tball team, coaching a 7/8 baseball team, practicing with his softball team, mentoring young men at the church, serving on two non-profit boards, and trying to keep up with the chores I can't. No wonder he falls asleep at 9pm!!

We also have a sweet teenage girl, K, staying with us while her parents move here from Texas. She wanted to be able to get started at school and track, and we welcomed the help around the house!

Friday she had her first pole vault meet in a neighboring town. The girls an I played on the soccer field while K wiped the floor with the competition (not that I'm proud or anything). Afterwards we met Jerome at the park, ate dinner at our favorite Mexican food restaurant then headed home.

The girls had taken their shoes off to play that day, and were dirty. But I was too tired to throw them in the bathtub. So we plopped them on the kitchen counter and started attacking with the wet washcloths.

Madi went to take a clump of dirt off the bottom of her foot. Then she smelled it. And realized it was poop.

She had poop. On the bottom of her foot. And we have no idea where it came from.

Wordless Wednesday: When The Youngest Runs The Shoot

Tales of the One-Legged Nut Job

I have learned a lot during my incarceration.

This fabulous contraption really comes in handy.  For very important things... like chasing the dog. 

I have learned that this is EVER so true.  My cats are plotting against me.

I have learned that my children make interesting wardrobe choices when Daddy tries to let me sleep.

I have learned that injuries do not give you a pass with the sun.  Especially in Colorado in the spring.  Saturday I got this.  Today it is snowing.  I give up trying to understand.

My children have learned that dinner from other people usually involves dessert. 

The boys from church have learned that when I hire them to build my raised garden beds and a fence around said garden, I will sit out on the porch and giggle at them the entire time.  Best. Therapy. Ever.

I have learned that the kitten sits on my bathroom counter for hours on end, desperately trying to get the birdies outside the window.  This is highly entertaining when trying to get on and off the toilet one-legged.

I have learned that, in order to do laundry, I should attach the dog's leash to the basket and drag it behind my cart.  The poor dog, however, was highly confused (not unusual) and a little ticked that we weren't going for a walk.

And I have learned that having the children help with the laundry will result in some interesting photo ops. 

I have 3 weeks till my appointment.  I may or may not be sane by that point.

Because God decided sanity wasn't necessary

If you've found me on FB, you know I sprained my ankle on Saturday. I don't even have an exciting story, I just tripped down the stairs and landed wrong. A friend suggested I tell people I made the mistake of kicking Jerome's butt while he was wearing his steel undies, but that could start a whole other conversation I don't want.

Anywho

I went to my appointment with the orthopedist today, fully expecting to be told to take it easy for a while and it should heal fine.

I should have known. Nothing about injuries in our family is ever easy. Or normal.

I am one of the few whose c-shaped bone that holds the arch in place never fused together. I know there's a fancy name for it but I don't remember what the doc called it, I don't want to google it, and I simply don't care at this moment. The tendon that connects the bone to my calf muscles grew over one of the bone parts and holds the two bone parts together. That's the tendon I strained. In order for it to heal, I have to stay completely off it for at least 4 weeks. There's a 40% chance that it still won't heal and I will need to have surgery to take out that extra bone and reattach the tendon the right way. Leave it to me...

So, I have 3 kids to homeschool (in the basement), a 100 pound dog to take outside, a house to clean, Mt. Laundries to tackle, swim lessons, play dates, church, sports, errands.

Did I mention that my injured foot is my right foot? As in my driving foot?

God must be giggling.

Two St Patrick's Day finds

One came from Pinterest (holy crafting addiction) and one came from my house. But they both give me the giggles.

$200 blog fodder

Before we left town a few weekends ago (another post for another day), I noticed our sweet pup wasn't himself. Whining, sore, tired, grumpy. Sounds like a man cold, right?

Umm... Not so much

My first clue was the green puss coming out of his ... man part.

And then we went to the vet.

Did you know a dog can get an infected man part?

Neither did I.

Apparently, he leans over so far when he is doing his business that his ... man part ... rubs against whatever he's peeing on, and gets bacteria.

After suffering the indignity of an exam by the vet, the indignity of vet techs catching his pee, and the indignity of the vet techs cleaning out his ... man parts ... poor Ty was more than ready to come home.

But not before costing me $200.

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