Rollercoaster

This is, by far, one of my favorite coasters of all time - The Incredible Hulk at Universal Studios, Florida. This is how themeparks.about.com described how the ride begins:

"Like Disney's Rock 'n' Roller Coaster and other launched coasters, the Hulk doesn't have a traditional click-clack-click lift hill. Unlike the magnetic induction systems that propel most launched coasters however, the Hulk's train of cars moves slowly up the green "Gamma Force Accelerator" tube, and a specially designed booster thrust--the first of its kind--catapults its pneumatic tires 40 mph uphill. The launch requires the same thrust as a U.S. Air Force F-16 jet. Universal built a dedicated power plant to accommodate the ride. The effect is like being trapped inside an old movie that's running way too fast. Quickly accelerating uphill defies logic, and feels both exhilarating and terrifying. Emerging from the tube, the train barrels through a complete inversion 110 feet off the ground and accelerates to 67 mph as it "groars" through rollovers, corkscrews, and fog-enshrouded tunnels. The G-forces are quite intense. "

I love rollercoasters. Always have. Even if I puke, which is a distinct possibility. I love the anticipation - waiting in line, nervous, unsure of what is to come. I love letting my imagination run wild, watching the people ahead of me ride, imagining what my own adventure will be. I love getting strapped in, feeling the adrenaline. I scream at the top of my lungs, enjoying every minute. I get such a rush at the idea that, although it doesn't feel like it in the moment, I am perfectly safe. The designer had both my adventure and safety at the forefront of his mind when he designed the ride.

I have been on a different kind of rollercoaster now, for quite a while, and I must say, I am not enjoying it in the least. Instead of anticipation, I fear what is waiting for me. The adventure I imagine is no adventure at all, but rather a nightmare. The adrenaline that comes makes me want to run and hide, not stay and enjoy the ride. I scream, not out loud, of course, because that would be inappropriate. But I do scream. And I don't feel safe. I struggle to trust the Designer.

This coaster is, of course, not a literal one. Not in the metal, electricity, & plastic seats sense of the word. This coaster is an emotional, perceptional one. Before I accepted Christ, I rode this coaster every day. I didn't realize I could get off. I thought everyone was riding it too. But, now that I have Christ, I know I should be able to get off. I know I shouldn't feel like I'm getting shot out of a tube at 65 MPH, only to get flipped on my head before plummeting towards the earth, then shot towards the heavens. I can see other people getting off, walking around, even enjoying the ride while they are on it. But I can't, not all the time. At times I can. At times I feel like I understand where the Designer is going, why the corkscrews & climbs are there. I can get off, take a breather, and ride again with my Daddy. I can even enjoy it. I have moments, like Sunday night, where Daddy unclips my harness & we walk. He shows me the smooth, lazy river ride. It looks so appealing, so peaceful, so calm. I run towards it. I may even get on the boat and be able to ride for a little bit. But then, I am ripped out of the boat, ripped out of Daddy's arms, and shoved back into the harness. And, once more, I am trapped.

Trapped in this ride that I cannot escape. I "know" all the things that are supposed to help me get off. I try to do all the things that will help me get off. I scream for someone, anyone, to help pull me out of the seat. Not literally, of course, because that would be inappropriate. In fact, most days, I don't even whisper. Because I don't want anyone to know that I am still trapped. Everyone else seems to be having so much fun - I must be the only one who can't get off. So, I smile, ask everyone else how much fun they are having, even help them unclip their harness if they are stuck. I, however, hold on for dear life. I "know" that the Designer has my adventure and safety in mind, but because I cannot see what is coming, I struggle to trust. I cannot believe that this is the best way. Why am I still stuck? Why can I not get off? What am I missing? How is it that I can help others, but not myself?

Perhaps that is it. Perhaps I'm not supposed to "do" or "know". Maybe I'm just supposed to sit back & try to enjoy the ride, as much as I can. But how then do I ever get off? Or do I?

ALL Scripture IS God-Breathed!

Lest anyone doubt my sanity or faith, I would like to clarify yesterday's post. Yes, I DO believe that ALL Scripture is God-breathed. Yes, I do FIRMLY believe in the spiritual discipline of tithing. And, yes, I do believe that it is a discipline - it takes repetition & committment.



I wanted to open a dialogue, because I saw so much of myself in the man who debated me. It was so easy, at one point, to intellectualize everything. To believe that, if I was smart enough, I didn't need God. To believe that parts of the Bible didn't apply to me.

I was reading in Galatians 5 online today. I specifically asked God to give me something for my heart that I could share. The answer did not actually come from the Scripture itself. It came from the commentary posted online regarding the chapter. To read the entire commentary, go to http://www.biblegateway.com/, look up Galatians 5, then click on "commentary". But, I have included here a specific portion that spoke to me.

"Paul introduces his call for decision with a solemn warning based on an agricultural principle: Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows (v. 7). When people think and act as if they will not reap what they have sown, or as if they will reap something different from what they have sown, they are deceiving themselves and mocking God. But since the inexorable law of reaping what is sown has always been proved true, the proverbial statement of warning God cannot be mocked is also true: no one can mock God and get away with it.
Yet there is a common tendency to think that there is one exception to this universal principle: "Though it proves true for everyone else, it is not true for me. I will not have to reap a harvest from the seeds I sow. I can sow whatever seed I want and still expect a good harvest." This common line of thought only proves the words of the prophet Jeremiah, "The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure" (Jer 17:9). Our capacity for self-deception is frightening. It is amazing how blind otherwise brilliant people can be to their own spiritual direction in life. In fact, the more brilliant people are, the more skilled they are at developing rationalizations to deceive themselves and to hide from God. The story of Adam and Eve's hiding from God behind their skimpy clothes and even skimpier excuses is our common human experience. Paul's warning needs to be heard, and to be heard often, to warn us against our most brilliant self-delusions."

How often do we believe that we are the exception? That we will not have to face the seeds we have sown? Yet, I do believe the Bible. "For ALL(emphasis mine) have sinned, and fallen short of the glory of God." I am reminded of a story told to me many years ago about the truth of God. An intellectual/atheist/buddhist/whomever is standing on the railroad tracks, his life. He sees the train of the truth of God approaching. He can believe, in his mind, that the train is made of marshmallows, and will not hurt him. However, the truth of the train is a very different story. If he chooses to acknowledge that it is a train, that there is truth, that it is absolute, he can then operate within that truth and be saved. If he chooses to stay on the tracks, in his self-delusion and "intelligence", he will get hurt. This is not to say that God is in any way mean, vindictive, or hurtful. It is simply to say that there is truth, it is absolute, and evenually, every one of us must face it.

Once you accept truth, it is so much easier to accept God at His word. It is so much easier to, when you read Scripture, to believe that it does apply to your life. That it is true. That it can and will change your life. And that, if you trust God with your finances, He will prove Himself faithful. He has, time and time again, for me. And He will again.

Is ALL Scripture God-Breathed?

So, this man, who is apparently very smart (PHD in Theology), decided to comment on my Thankful Thursday blog. He specifically referenced my use & belief in Malacai 3:10-12. I promptly deleted it, because it was too long, and why would I keep a comment from someone I don't even know on there? But, it got me thinking. How many people are like him? He claimed that this passage was THE most mis-quoted & mis-used passage in the Bible in regards to tithing & offerings. His basic premise is that tithing is an Old-Testament concept, completely irrelevant and inappropriate in light of the New Testament grace. And offerings were ususally, if not always, food & animals, not money. He claimed that the tithe & offering were no longer appropriate spiritual disciplines for Christians to follow. He also referenced encyclopedia articles, which I checked out, that refer to the tithe as a 6th century Roman Catholic initiative to tax the general population. It then spread to the secular government. Some churches, such as the Eastern Orthodox, have never accepted the tithe, while others require it of members.

While yes, I agree that "tithe" is mentioned far more in the Old rather than New Testament, there are numerous examples of both church leaders & lay people bringing both money & physical goods to the church for the benenit of both the church and the community. I happen to look at 2 Timothy 2:16. It says, "16All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness,..." Why would God write something, New or Old Testament, if it were not appropriate for use in the building of our faith?

Perhaps I am way off track. Maybe my faith is too simple. Maybe I am in error for taking God at his literal Word. And perhaps I am not. Maybe this country, and "Christianity" has become too intellectual. Perhaps we spend more time analyzing & criticizing, instead of obeying & loving. While God welcomes believers with a brain, I do believe that it is easy to "intellectualize" too much. I was guilty of it. I had to come to a place where I realized that I was not smarter than God. I had to take Him at His word. I would welcome your comments, as long as they are not too long-winded! And believe me, I am grateful for this very smart man's comment, because it means that people are reading my blog! And if I can challenge a few people to reexamine their beliefs, while sharing the joys & trials of our family, then PRAISE THE LORD!

Violet's Birthday!

Sunday, we celebrated Violet's 1st birthday. She was such a cute little party hostess, smiling & laughing at everyone. How blessed are we, that all four of her grandparents, her adopted Papa Jim, aunts & uncles, favorite sitters, and so many friends were able to help us rejoice. And, she actually got excited for all her presents!

I love it when my brother-in-law poses so nicely for the camera!

eating & visiting...

Matt, Jo, & Benin - gotta love the snuggle pictures!

She was very excited about the Fig Newtons. So were her sisters. So was her Daddy. I've since had to hide them. I think I'm the only one in our house that doesn't like them.

She really enjoyed sitting in her new car seat with her crackers. She got very upset when I took her out of the car seat. Now, she gets upset when she gets put in the car seat. I wish she would make up her mind...

All of the "big" kids enjoying their cupcake cones. Surprisingly, we came away with little to no frosting on the floor!

Is this really for me? What do I do with it?



Pax obviously remembered his party, and what you are supposed to do with sugar... Use it as war paint!

With the help of her cousin, Violet finally realized that cupcakes are useful for both eating & decorating! This is why neither one of them wore clothing for dessert time.

In the bath after the cake... anytime she sees a camera she MUST smile!

Success! We have a clean baby!


Thank you, everyone, for making Violet's first birthday such a wonderful event. Even though she won't remember it, we will, and I will always cherish the memories & the people.

Thankful Thursday...

I am so grateful that today is Thursday. My heart has been so heavy lately, that it is refreshing to make myself look around & realize all the amazing gifts & miracles in my life. So, without further ado, I will join the Thankful Thursday ranks!

I am thankful:

1. for sitting on the couch with the girls and reading books. I love to read, and I am so grateful that my girls are beginning to love it as well.

2. for my mom & mother-in-law. They have given, & continue to give, so much of themselves for their children & grandchildren. I can only hope & pray that someday I will be to my children & grandchildren what they are to our family.

3. for my Boiler Angels, Jo & Terry. Every time I hear the heater kick on, I am so grateful for their gift!

4. that we get to go to Phoenix for Thanksgiving this year. Even though my mom's family is really wacky, I love them & miss them terribly.

5. that Violet is healthy & growing. She actually climbed into the positive percentile for her weight! Yeah! She has spent so much of her life sick, it's refreshing to have her well for a while.

6. for clients that make my day fun! I just got off the phone with an older gentleman, who makes me smile & laugh every time I talk to him. He is a joyful reminder that your attitude greatly affects your day.

7. for the promises of God. I have been praying Malachi 3:10-12 for our family:

10 Bring the whole tithe into the storehouse, that there may be food in my house. Test me in this," says the LORD Almighty, "and see if I will not throw open the floodgates of heaven and
pour out so much blessing that you will not have room enough for it. 11 I will prevent pests from devouring your crops, and the vines in your fields will not cast their fruit," says the LORD Almighty. 12 "Then all the nations will call you blessed, for yours will be a delightful land," says the LORD Almighty.

We have been "testing" God in this, and I believe that we are beginning to see the opening of the floodgates of heaven.

8. for getting to go on a date with Jerome tomorrow. He really is my best friend, but sometimes it is easy to forget to nurture that relationship like we should. I cherish our date nights because it is the only time where we are "just the two of us".

9. for my blogging buddies. For me, it is so much easier to share myself like this. I am grateful for a group of friends who understand me!

10. that I'm still here. Every day I'm still alive means another day to teach, learn, minister, be ministered to, love, laugh, & live.

Have a Thankful Thursday!

The Good Pictures

So, I promised the good photos last week when I displayed the "not so okay" ones. Here are those we are considering for actual distribution to the family. I am seriously pondering Jill's suggestion of putting the "digging" picture on our Christmas cards. I know Madison will not appreciate it someday, but it's just so funny! Oh well... Isn't that part of motherhood - doing things that you know will mortify your children? But, here is the proof that, on occasion, my children can be well behaved for a time.

Can you say "ornery princess of the universe?"

"I found a rock!"

"I can be just as loud as Madison, Mom."

So sweet, so misleading...

the angelic shot - right before she pouted for the family shots. I guess we're only allowed to take pictures of her when she is by herself!

Our Boiler Fairies

So, Friday, while I was home with a sick Madison, my friend Jo called. She had read my post about our boiler miracle. She then told me that her dad, who is a plumber & handyman extraordinaire, was on his way over with the parts to fix the boiler. He came at 1:30, left for more parts at 2, came back at 2:30, and had our boiler fixed by 3. For the first time in at least a month, the actual temperature of the house matches the temperature that the heater is set at. We now lovingly call them our Boiler Fairies! Thank you to wonderful friends! We are so blessed to be a part of this family.