Favorite Christmas Movies

Here's my list, just for Jinny!

• Charlie Brown Christmas
• Garfield Christmas Special
• Elf
• Home Alone (stupid, but funny)
• The Santa Clause trilogy
• Muppet Christmas Carol
• Gremlins - just bought it on DVD - watch it if you don't believe that its a Christmas movie - it makes you appreciate spending the holidays with your family - they're not that bad!
• Die Hard! - the original, of course
• A Christmas Carol (the old one)
• How the Grinch Stole Christmas (the original, not the Jim Carrey)
• White Christmas - oldie, but a goodie!
• Miracle on 34th Street
• Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer (or any of the other clay-mation TV specials)

Thankful Thursday... Girlfriends!

Yeah, yeah, I know... this is STILL not about Jerome. But, trust me, there is an ulterior motive at work here. We will tout the praises of my spouse in the future, but today is all about friends!

And, just so you know, I started this with listing specific people and why I am thankful for them. But, then I realized that SO many women contribute a part of themselves to inspire me, the list would be very long. I would also feel horrible if I forgot to list someone. And the attributes of a friend can sometimes get forgotten. And I didn't want to start any catfights!

Girlfriends:

• love you when you are unlovely.
• challenge you to be a better wife, mother, and woman of God.
• understand when you have become so addicted to blogging that you JUST HAVE to figure out the whole background thing!
• love your children when you can't.
• give you a swift kick in the rear when needed.
• hold you when you cry.
• challenge you to realize that most ministry does not happen at church.
• help you see the awesome splendor of God's creation when it's easy to be focused on the mundane.
• know that you drink your coffee with a straw, and are ok with that.
• put up with and laugh at all your other weird habits.
• know all your weird habits.
• know all your dirty laundry, and love you more because of it.
• encourage you to live your passions & dreams.
• find the good in you when all you see is the crap.
• pray, anytime.
• laugh over dumb things.
• push you outside of your box to find where you are truly called.
• can see you looking your worst & still think you're beautiful.
• can see you looking your best and know that you're hiding.
• don't care how clean your house is, but how clean your heart is.
• love you no matter what.
• are there no matter what.

Thank you, my girlfriends, for being there for me. You inspire, challenge, comfort, and encourage me in ways I will never be able to express. Thank you for allowing me to be me, to share my heart, and to let down my guard. I am truly thankful that my Daddy has given me such wonderful friends with whom to share this life. I couldn't do it without you! Know that you are a blessing today!

And, if you do not feel like you have someone in your life who is like that, tell me. I will gladly volunteer!

A conversation...

If a microphone was secretly installed in my car, this would be the typical conversation heard on the way into town every morning:

Madison: "You be a kitty, I be puppy."
Tiff: "Ok"
M: "Ruff"
T: "Meow"
M: "Ruff"
T: "Meow"
M: " I be kitty, you be a puppy."
T: "Ok"
M: " Meow"
T: "Ruff"
M: "Meow"
T: "Ruff"
M: " You be a snake, I be panda."
T: "Ok"
M: "Hiya!"

At this point, I am usually laughing, so then M gets mad that her snake is not hissing. I blame modern entertainment (i.e. the Kung Fu Panda movie) for the fact that my daughter believes that pandas say "Hiya!" This hiya is usually accompanied by some form of toddler kung-fu. We then move on the the more typical animals, i.e. coyotes, horses, cows, fish, etc., but I can almost guarantee that, every morning, we will have a kung-fu panda in the back seat. Only my daughter...

Glory-Strength

"We pray that you'll have the strength to stick it out over the long
haul—not the grim strength of gritting your teeth but the glory-strength God gives. It is strength that endures the unendurable and spills over into joy, thanking the Father who makes us strong enough to take part in everything bright and beautiful that he has for us." Col 1:10-12 (Msg)

What is strength? When I was little, I thought it meant being tough. My family is a bunch of true cowboys. Ranchers, hunters, construction workers, truckers, you get the picture. Tough, strong, rough guys and gals. Don't show weakness, or you'll be taken advantage of. Don't cry - it will show your weakness. Don't talk about the hard times you're going through - somebody else has it tougher. It won't do you any good, anyways, because talking can't fix it. Be charitable, sure, but don't go out of your way to do something nice - people take advantage of "nice" people.

Strength has always been, to me, the "gritting your teeth" kind. The pulling up your boots kind. The "put on your big girl panties & deal with it" kind. And yet, that strength has gotten me nowhere. I cannot endure the unendurable with that strength, and it certainly does not spill over into joy. And that is because I am trying to do it in my strength, not His.

It is so easy to fall into the "I do it myself" mentality. Madison is there right now, and it's really funny. She thinks she can do it herself, then gets so frustrated when she can't. And I do the same thing. I try to endure life in my own strength, then get so frustrated when I can't. And, all the while, Daddy is standing there saying, "If you'd just let me help..."

Lord, help me to live in your strength. Help me discover the glory-strength that brings joy in the midst of hard times. Thank you that you consider me strong enough to take part in everything bright and beautiful that you have for me. Even the hard times are bright and beautiful in your eyes, because they refine me. And thank you that you understand that it took me this long to discover that I will never be strong enough on my own.

Thankful Thursday...My Kids!

I loved Jill's idea of being thankful for specifics, but couldn't completely steal the idea and talk about Jerome, so you get to hear more about my girls! I've recently realized that there are people in my life (family members, even) who do not appreciate nor like children. This breaks my heart because, as a mom, I see how precious every child is. Okay, enough soap box, more thankfulness!

These pictures were taken at a park near our house a few weeks ago. I took them with my cell, because, of course, I was out without a camera. I should know the first rule of blogging by now - DO NOT LEAVE HOME WITHOUT A CAMERA! Oh well, they're cute enough anyways...


Katrina
I am thankful for:

• her beautiful smile
• her tender heart
• the way she wholeheartedly accepts Jesus's love for her, without doubts
• how quickly she has adapted to the "school" routine, loving it and learning so quickly
• how obedient she is...most of the time...
• her giggles and silliness
• how much she reminds me of myself - what an interesting way to view yourself
• the way she knows when others are hurting and tries to make them feel better

Violet:

I am thankful for:

• her precious baby giggles
• the way she snuggles & gives hugs
• how she kicks & waves her arms when she's excited
• the way that she will go to anyone, and just loves to be admired
• her sweet, sweet attitude
• her easy-going and calm view towards life
• the way she sleeps on her stomach with her butt in the air
• her adventurous spirit

Madison:

I am thankful for...

• her strong personality. It is a challenge, but also reassuring to know that my daughter will be strong!
• her mischievousness, always testing limits
• her sense of humor - she is becoming a comedienne
• her gentleness with her little sister - not something I would have expected
• her "big" hugs and kisses - made even more precious by their infrequency
• her "big girl" attitude - she can and will keep up with the older kids
• her deep attachments to people - her friendships do not run wide, but deep
• her curiosity - this is a girl who will figure out the world!
  

It is so easy for me to get frustrated with them, I needed to take some time & reflect on just how amazing they are!

Changing Seasons

(Spoiler Warning: If you are male, or simply do not appreciate discussions of tubal ligations, breast-feeding, nursing bras, etc., you may not want to read this.)

I've known for a while that I needed to write this post - that it would be good for me. But, like many things that are good for me, I don't exactly enjoy doing them. My heart has been pondering this for some time. I've known it was coming, but I guess in my mind and heart I denied it. I never thought this season would change. Like most people, I don't handle change well. I have friends who LOVE change, who thrive in it, who crave it. I am not one of those people. I like order, I like planning, I like things to stay steady. I don't particularly appreciate God throwing a wrench in my works.

The wrench in my works is represented by our youngest daughter, Violet. I know, you were all thinking it would be Madison. It's not behavior, obviously, that threw me - it's God's timing. Madison we planned for (sort-of). Violet was a surprise. We weren't planning on getting pregnant again for a while. I certainly did not want to be pregnant again so fast (Madi was 6 months old). So, for the first half of the pregnancy, I struggled with all of the questions:

• Can my body handle another pregnancy so soon (I have to have c-sections)?
• Will it be ok that this baby & Madison are so close together?
• How are we going to do this?
• Why?

Please, don't misunderstand me. I loved Violet from the moment I found out about her. But I didn't think I was ready for another one. But, as time progresses, my fears subsided and gave way to all the normal pregnancy jitters and excitement. We decided, because of my body and the complications of repeat c-sections, to have my tubes tied after they delivered Violet. I tried not to think about it. I knew it was the best decision, but that didn't mean that I liked it. But, I pushed it aside.

When she was born, of course, I fell in love all over again. Every time I have given birth, I have been given another small glimpse into the Creator's infinite love for humanity, and I am humbled.

Violet is a joy. She is absolutely a treasure. I fall in love with her all over again every morning. The past year has been an absolute delight, learning about her personality, and beginning to see her Daddy's call for her. But, it has also been a heart-wrenching, saddening journey of motherhood. I never truly understood what older, more experienced mothers meant when they said that motherhood was the most joyful and the hardest experience of your life. You see, I have just realized in the past month that I will never (miracle nonwithstanding) be pregnant again. I have watched 6 dear friends give birth in the last 4 months, and each time my heart has been torn in half. Part of me rejoiced with them, part of me cried that it would not be me. I loved pregnancy, even when I was throwing up every hour. I loved it! And I will never feel a little life growing. I will never watch my belly expand. I will never experience the pains of childbirth (yes, right now, I even miss that).

But, I think what is hardest, is that I will never get to nurse a little one again. You see, Violet weaned herself in October. I was not ready. I think I would have nursed her for much longer if I could have. She loved nursing. It was our special snuggle time. Then, one day, she was done. She was a big girl, in her eyes.

I had to buy a regular bra this weekend while in Phoenix. Not so much fun. To me, it officially signals that I'm done. And I don't want to be. Those of you who still wake up in the middle of the night, or have to stop what you're doing because the baby is hungry, please treasure it. I know that it is hard. I know what it is like to not have your body to yourself. But it is such a gift, and it is one I would take back in a heartbeat. Because, before you know it, it will be over. I would give almost anything to keep all my girls at this age. I'm not ready for them to grow up.

Thank you for listening to my rant. I feel much better. I know they have to grow up. I know I will treasure the next stage they enter. But I treasure where they are right now. And giving this up is more difficult than I imagined.

Our Week of Chaos - Part 3

Wow, where did this weekend go? I feel like I ask that every week. Maybe every post I do should be entitled Chaos. Also, I forgot to mention last week that we had been trying to get a property for Jerome's dad closed, and were running into hassles with it. As it turns out, we needed the county commissioners' and city manager's signatures before we could close. So, Friday night the commissioners met and signed the paper. But, the memories we have made in the last week make it worth it. So, without further ado, thus continues the week of chaos...

Sunday, Nov. 23:

We went to church, taught in Katrina's class 2nd service, then went to the annual football game afterwards. Jerome loves playing on the "old" guys team, because they always win. I say it's because they cheat!

Monday, Nov. 24:

Jerome & I had work, Katrina went to school, and Violet and Madison went to Jo's house. Jerome tried to track down the paperwork all day that we needed for the closing, to no avail. The city manager was gone on vacation, they couldn't reach his assistant, and the chief of police (#3 on the totem pole) was "busy". Finally, in frustration, the airport manager (we were selling a hanger) vowed to go to the city offices and not leave until he had the right signatures. It worked! We finally had the signatures, and a closing time of 10AM Wednesday. After work, we cleaned house & did laundry in preparation for our Thanksgiving trip. We also went downtown to Jerome's folks house for dinner, since we weren't going to see them until we got back. After we got home from dinner, I packed all of our clothes.

Tuesday, Nov. 25:

More work, school, and sitter's house. After work, we took the kids to see Bolt. Such a cute, clean, fun movie! We had a blast. Jerome had won tickets in a contest this summer, so we got in for free. The big girls each got a "kiddie combo" and were in hog heaven. Madison is finally at the age where she likes movies and isn't scared of the screen (she was for a while). Violet, of course, was calm & cool. She almost fell asleep in my arms, actually. It was a great treat for the girls and us, and just so much fun to do something as a family. It had been a while since we'd taken the girls on a "date". We all needed it!

Wednesday, Nov. 26:

We got up & got ready to go. Jerome went into town for his closing (Yipee Jesus, to steal a Linn phrase), while I finished packing & cleaning. I know it seems weird, but I love coming home to a clean house after a vacation. We were finally able to leave once Jerome got his check (about 1pm). We made great time until just outside of Heber, AZ, where it downpoured and was so foggy we couldn't see. I've driven through there in really nasty snowstorms, but never fog. It was really eerie. We made it through fine, and got to Great-Grandma & Great-Grandpa's house at about 8:45. We visited for a while then went to the hotel with my folks for the night.

Thursday, Nov. 27:

Yeah Thansgiving! We ate, cooked more food, ate more...rinse, repeat! I love hanging with my family. I haven't seen any of this family in two years, so it was great to catch up and see what everyone is up to.

Friday, Nov. 28:

Shopping! We went with my parents and grandma to a bunch of different stores. My mom had a blast picking out stuff for the girls, and Dad & Violet got to spend some quality time together.

Saturday, Nov. 29:

More shopping! We went to Sears, then Target in search of a new microwave for the office. Then, Dad, Jerome, the girls, & I took a trip to the most wonderful store in the universe, Cabela's. I love Cabela's. I think I could spend all day there. That's probably why they have a restaurant...Anyways, we looked at the guns, the stuffed animals (the girls loved the lion killing the zebra - that's my girls!), more guns, camo clothes for the girls, more guns, video games, guns. I liked the guns. We got to oogle their collection of rare/old/unique guns, which was really cool. Basically, we bribed the girls with food & dead stuffed animals so I could drool over firearms. Dad spent about a bazillion dollars, as usual (especially since Mom wasn't there), then we finally had to leave when Mom called & threatened to call the National Guard. We realized that we looked like a militia on the way out to the car, with firearms sticking out every which way, then came the joy of fitting it all into the minivan. We got back to the grandparents' house, ordered pizza, and hung out until it was time to go back to the hotel. Since we promised, we took the girls swimming at 9pm in the hot tub.

Sunday, Nov. 30:

The long drive home... We left about 9AM, drove to Payson, stopped to potty, drove to Gallup, stopped for lunch, gas, & potty, then drove home. The girls did really well, and actually slept most of the way. I like it when Madison sleeps on road trips. She didn't sleep much on Wednesday. She talked on Wednesday. For 8 hours... I was glad she slept Sunday. We got home, unpacked, ate dinner, then put the girls in the bath. And, guess what? Violet pooped! So, they all got showers. But the new shampoo & detangler spray from Aunt Pam (thanks a bunch) worked really well, so we avoided a few tears. And now... back to the grind!