If You Put A Dog In A Yard...
...he will want to have friends over to play.
If he wants friends over to play,
... He will whine at the fence for them.
If he whines at the fence for them,
... He will push on the fence.
If he pushes on the fence,
... He will discover that he is big enough to push the fence over.
If he is big enough to push the fence over,
... He will escape the yard.
If he escapes the yard...
... He will find dead things on the side of the road.
If he finds dead things on the side of the road,
... He will eat them and roll in them.
If he eats and rolls in the dead things,
...He will smell like poo when your former high school vice-principal brings him back.
If he smells like poo when he's brought home,
... NO ONE will want him in the house.
If no one wants him in the house,
... You will have to fix the fence immediately.
If you have to fix the fence right away,
... you will realize that the weeds in front of the fence could conceal at least two of your children.
If the weeds are taller than your children,
... You will have to mow the fence line.
If you mow the fence line,
... You'll start to tackle all the other fallish outdoor chores.
If you start to tackle all the other chores,
...you'll realize you forgot about the fence.
If you realize you forgot the fence,
... You'll hurry up and finish it.
Because NO ONE wants the nasty-smelling dog in the house!
