Didnt Mean to be MIA

Some weeks, my brain literally explodes with blog ideas. Thoughts, inspirations, funny stories - they just seem to flow & flow. Other weeks, like this one, my brain stops. By the time I get home from work (where I am on the computer all day), spend a few precious hours with the girls, get them ready for bed, get ready for tomorrow, I am done. I just want to sit on the couch for a few moments, snuggled with my honey, and not have to think about anything.


I don't mean to ignore my blog. It certainly isn't intentional. But, above all else, I want this place to be honest. I want to be real. And, I have come to realize that when I am writing a post for any other reason than the pure enjoyment and therapy of writing, it will be forced. It will not be completely true or real. This place has become a form of therapy for me, a way to process how I am feeling, thinking. Yes, I completely enjoy reading the comments of my readers. A part of me loves that I have readers. That people find what I say compelling, interesting, or perhaps even challenging.


But, first and foremost, this blog is a dialogue between me and my Daddy. Some days will be funny, some will not. But, just as I cannot force a relationship with anyone on Earth, I cannot force a relationship with the One in Heaven. I am learning to try to release my perfectionist tendencies, to keep doing what I think will make Him happy just to make Him happy. I want my relationship with him to be true, to be honest. Just like this blog. I know He can handle it if some days I am silent, if some days I inundate Him with thoughts.


Just know, if some days I am silent, I haven't fallen off the face of the earth. I just need to process. I need to be silent. I am learning it is ok.


As far as the girls are concerned, we are doing ok. Katrina hurt through the weekend, but was able to clear some stuff out. Monday & Tuesday, she felt pretty good. Wednesday was a bad day. We made it to noon at school, then I picked her up and took her home. I called our doctor Thursday morning and he wanted her to come in.


He came into our room with a female doc who just happened to be visiting from our Children's Hospital in Denver. She deals with constipation on a daily basis up there. Essentially, she is a poop expert. And, with everything Katrina was able to get out over the weekend, it wasn't enough. The first half of her colon is still very backed up. And, because all we can see in the xrays is poop, we have to get that cleared out before we can do anything else.


And, so, this weekend is colon cleanse weekend. We are giving her Miralax every 2 hours until she no longer has ANY poop in her system. We are looking for clear diarrhea. I am sure you wanted that visual. For reference, right now we are at the pudding stage. TMI, I know. After that, if she is still in pain, then hopefully we would be able to see the cause of the pain. Right now, I am just praying for the pain to be gone. I want my kid back. The pain is not too bad, but she is simply exhausted. No energy whatsoever.


And Violet decided to pick up some respiratory virus. She had a miserable night Thursday night - didn't really sleep at all. We have had to bring out the nebulizer for her, and all the other little tricks to get her lungs cleared.


I have housework to do, dresses for Haiti to sew (more on that tomorrow hopefully), bills to pay, laundry to fold, dinner to start. But, sometimes, the writing therapy must come before the scrubbing therapy. And, now that all the kiddos are down for naps, I need to be quiet. Darn. No housework for a while. Oh well, more time to blog!