Some Wednesday Fun

Here's a few fun items that I could not resist sharing. First, a joke my wonderful husband sent. Knowing my love of the ranch, and general feelings towards the government, he felt it appropriate.

An old cowboy named Dick, was overseeing his herd in a remote mountainous pasture in Colorado, when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced out of a dust cloud towards him. The driver, a man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and YSL tie, leans out the window and asks the old cowboy, “If I tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, Will you give me a calf?”

Dick looks at the man, obviously from out of town, then looks at his peacefully grazing herd and calmly answers, “Sure, Why not?”

The fellow parks his car, whips out his Dell notebook computer, connects it to his Cingular RAZR V3 cell phone, and surfs to a NASA page on the Internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite to get an exact fix on his location which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution photo. He then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop and exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg, Germany. Within seconds, he receives an email on his Palm Pilot that the image has been processed and the data stored. He then accesses an MS-SQL database through an ODBC connected Excel spreadsheet with email on his Blackberry and, after a few minutes, receives a response.

Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on his hi-tech, miniaturized HP LaserJet printer and finally turns to the cowboy and says, “You have exactly 1,586 cows and calves.”“That's right. Well, I guess you can take one of my calves,” says the old cowboy. He watches the man select one of the animals and looks on amused as he stuffs it into the trunk of his car.

Then Dick says to the guy, “Hey, if I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me back my calf?”The man thinks about it for a second and then says, “Okay, why not?”“You're a Congressman for the U.S. Government”, says Dick.“Wow! That's correct,” says the guy, “but how did you guess that?”“No guessing required.” answered the old cowboy. “You showed up here even though nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a question I never asked. You tried to show me how much smarter you are than I am, and yet, you don't know a thing about cows...this is a herd of sheep. Now give me back my dog.”

The second is a video my co-worker introduced us to yesterday. You have to understand, my dad is a Shriner. We were all rolling in tears at the office. My dad made us play the video repeatedly. Then I had to teach him how to share videos from YouTube. So, a good funny!