I am grateful for my job.
I get to work with my parents, whom I love dearly.
I have a full-time job, in this economy.
I have bosses who understand when kids are sick, who encourage me to take time off to spend with them, who make every day enjoyable to be at work.
I am able to help my husband pay the bills while he builds his business.
But my heart is not here.
My heart is home, with my girls.
I never realized just how selfish I was, until I had to go to work.
And be away from them every day.
I would give anything to be breaking up arguments, making peanut butter and jelly for the 5th day in a row, wiping behinds and tears.
I want desperately to be the class mom at school, to have lunch with my girlfriends and the herd of toddlers, to be able to go to the park on a day other than Saturday.
Most days are ok.
I remind myself that this is temporary, that all of this is working towards getting me back home.
Sometimes, though, like today, the end of that tunnel just seems too far off.
Today, I just want to be home.
*Please understand: I am in NO WAY implying that one group (SAHM, WAHM, working mom, whatever) has it easier or harder than another. I simply miss, with all my heart, being with my kids all day.
11 comments:
Can not say that I understand... but I am glad for the reminder of what a privilege it is to be at home. Praying you get to be home soon; love ya girl friend.
I think it's all hard. SAHM, WAHM, working mom...it's all hard.
Hugs!
I struggle with it too! I didn't fully appreciate life as a SAHM (as Shell says ... it's all hard) until I went to work full time and now ... some days ... I ache for life the way it used to be!
All things in God's perfect timing my friend! In the meantime I will pray for you to have joy in the midst of pain! :)
God knows. Keep pouring your heart out to Him.
Love you.
Praying that peace will flood your heart. You have such a gentle heart and encourage me everytime I read a post like this. Hugs!
I can totally understand your heart sweetie. Although I am not in your shoes (and can't imagine it!) I know that my heart is at home. Being with my kids, as tough as some days can be, is pure joy. Knowing that I am seeing all those moments fills my heart. I am sure that light at the end of the tunnel will get brighter soon. God knows your heart dear! He will bring you back as soon as He can! I have no doubt! Try not to fret too much and make yourself feel guilty. You have such a wonderful heart friend, and I am encouraged by you so often. Be strong!
Big hugs to you! I am so thankful to be at home with Blaze but it isn't easy I tell you. We are very close to broke all the time. But I figure I would spend what I would make on childcare and gas and eating so it comes out cheaper for me to stay home and that was always the plan. I am praying for you guys and sending hugs to you.
I love how honest you are here. Until this post I didn't realize you weren't a SAHM. What a sweet heart you have and your girls are so blessed to have a Mama that loves them so much.
I'm thankful to have been able to stay home with my kids. We were broke for two decades but God always met our needs. We wore old clothes, drove old cars, and lived in an old house. It sounds like in your situation you have to work for the time being, so that means trusting God for grace, wisdom, and strength which is what every Mom, no matter where she works, has to do. Thanks for sharing your heart. Hope you're having a good week.
I can totally relate. I was a mom who worked long, tireless hours until I became pregnant with my youngest. It was high risk and my mom was dying and I just couldn't work anymore. Once I was home, I realized that was where I wanted to be. My heart was being home with my babies and I am so thankful that Hubby and I figured out a way to make it work. We definitely work with a very tight budget now, but we wouldn't have it any other way. If that's your heart's desire, I pray that the Lord will bless you with it. Thanks for sharing!
You know I can relate. I am right there with you. A stay at home heart with a working mom reality. But I remind myself that God is in control. He is taking care of my baby(ies) and that he knows the true desires of my heart. Excited to see how God works in you life in this area. Hugs.
He totally hears you friend. When you look at all the amazing ways God has had your kids in His huge and loving hands while you've been in this season you can see that not only does He adore them, He adores you too. And He totally hears you. :) We might not always understand the process but we can trust Him for bringing us through the process and safely to the other side. Hang in there sister!
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