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Monday, April 26, 2010

Shout Out To The Mamas

I got this from my mom this morning.  Normally I just delete these, but this one was just too good to pass up.  Enjoy!


 


THE

NEXT SURVIVOR

SERIES

Six married men

will be dropped on an island with one car and

3 kids each for six weeks.



Each kid will play two sports

and take either music or dance classes.



There is no fast food.



Each man must

take care of his 3 kids;

keep his assigned house clean,

correct all homework,

complete science projects,

cook,

do laundry,

and pay a list of 'pretend' bills

with not enough money.





In

addition, each man

will have to budget in money

for groceries each week.





Each man

must remember the birthdays

of all their friends and relatives,

and send cards out on time--no emailing.



Each man must also take each child

to a doctor's appointment,

a dentist appointment

and a haircut appointment.





He must make one unscheduled and

inconvenient visit per child to the Urgent Care.





He must also make cookies or cupcakes

for a social function.





Each man will be responsible for

decorating his own assigned house,



planting flowers outside, and keeping it

presentable at all times.





The men will only have access to television

when the kids are asleep and all chores are done.





The men must shave their legs,



wear makeup daily,



adorn

themselves with jewelry,



wear uncomfortable yet stylish shoes,



keep fingernails polished,



and eyebrows groomed





During one of the six weeks,



the men will have to endure severe

abdominal cramps, back aches, head aches,

have extreme, unexplained mood swings

but never once complain or slow down

from other duties.





They must attend weekly school meetings and

church,

and find time at least once to spend

the afternoon at the park or a similar

setting.





They will need to read a book to the kids

each night and in the morning,

feed them,

dress them,

brush their teeth and

comb their hair

by 7:00 am.





A test

will be given at the end of the six weeks, and each father will be

required to know all of the following information:

each child's

birthday,

height, weight,

shoe size, clothes size,

doctor's name,

the child's weight at birth,

length, time of birth,

and length of labor,

each child's favorite color,

middle name,

favorite snack,

favorite song,

favorite drink,

favorite toy,

biggest fear,

and what they want to be when they grow up.





The kids vote them off the island based on performance.



The last man wins only if...

he still

has enough energy

to be intimate with his spouse

at a moment's

notice.





If the last man does win,

he can play the game over and over and over

again for the next 18-25 years,

eventually earning the right

to be called Mother!



4 comments:

Jo said...

I am not sure that by the end of the first week there would be anyone left to vote for. Too funny, thanks for sharing:)

Kim said...

wahahahah! I think everyone would turn in their torches at the first tribal counsel!

I know I keep trying to find someone to take my torch and people run away!

{Kimber} said...

oh THIS WOULD BE GREATNESS!!!!!

Susan Mudry-McDaniel said...

Hilarious. But you forgot to add that they also get a 35% pay cut, since women earn 65¢ per every dollar a man earns.