Thankful Thursday: Precious Moments

Easter this year was bittersweet. For those of you who don't know, my grandma is not doing well. It seems like forever ago that we took this photo. It was Christmas morning, only 3 months. And yet so much has changed.

My grandma is simply amazing. She homesteaded with her husband to Monticello, UT, leaving everything she knew behind. She raised their children with a firm, but fun and fair hand. She helped her husband build a successful mining and ranching business. She was industrious, hard working, wise. But with an awesome sense of humor!






One year on April Fool's Day, she put cotton balls in the biscuits. Poor Grandpa fell for it, trying his best to eat Grandma's weird biscuits, not knowing that he had cotton hanging down his chin!


Since Christmas this year, her health has gone downhill. She is 95, and has lung & heart issues, but we didn't expect her to decline as fast as she has. We never know what kind of day it will be. Some days, like Sunday, she seems normal, herself. She talks to us, remembers what we are doing. Other days, it's like she isn't even there. There have been days that her caretakers (we have 24-hr live-in assistants for her) have a very difficult time waking her up. We also found out this week that her kidneys have begun to shut down.





Her body is simply done. And she is ready to go. Each time we have seen her lately, it is like she is trying to express to my kids how much she loves them, how proud she is of them. She is trying, in her way, to say goodbye. And it breaks my heart. I know Katrina will have precious memories of her Old Grandma, but I'm not so sure about Madi & Violet.




I have been in turmoil these past months. You see, after I accepted Christ, I tried to talk to her about it. But she was never willing to. I was able to talk to Grandpa before he died, when his mind was still there, for lack of a better phrase. That conversation reassured me that when my Poppa took his last earthly breaths, Jesus was waiting to greet him. But Grandma would never talk to me.





Jerome spent many nights holding me these past few weeks as I have sobbed, terrified. I had seen glimpses in the last year that perhaps, maybe, she had accepted Christ. But I honestly could not trust our conversations. Mentally, most of the time she is not there. So I never knew if it really was my grandma talking, or a delusion brought on by her illness.





Last Friday our church had a special worship service. It was amazing. Honestly, it felt so good to just be able to lay all of my burdens down and simply enjoy God's company. And that's what I was doing. I wasn't thinking about anything, wasn't worrying about anything. I was just being.


The worship team began to play this song. To hear it, make sure you mute the music at the bottom of the page first:










All of a sudden, God gave me a vision. He gave me a glimpse into Heaven. Please understand, I am not one to receive a vision on a regular basis. Maybe once or twice have I seen something in my mind that I have known was from Daddy. And this came so suddenly, from so far out in left field, that it could only be from Him.





I saw Heaven. I saw Jesus and my grandpa standing there, just talking. Grandpa had his thumbs hooked into the pockets of his jeans. And then they reached out for someone. It was my grandma. She had taken her last earthly breath, and was being welcomed by her husband and her Husband into eternity. It was so joyful, so peaceful. There the three of them stood, arm in arm, together. And then it was gone.





And then I heard my Daddy say to me, "Don't worry child. She is mine."





Needless to say, the rest of the evening was spent in tears, using the entire church stock of Kleenex. My Daddy cares enough about me to reassure me, to comfort me. When I hugged my grandma on Sunday night, it was peaceful, serene. I knew she was trying to say goodbye, but it was ok. I know when she takes her last breath here, with us, that she will be welcomed into eternity by the love of her life and the lover of her soul. And that is enough for me.





So you ask, what am I thankful for today? I am thankful for a grandma who taught me so much. Who loved me so much. I am thankful for a Savior who comforts and reassures. I am thankful for a life well-lived. I am thankful for a family that treasures every last moment with an amazing lady. And I am thankful for a promise.